Satire: Bagel Sale Ban – Wellness Policy or Anti-Semitism?


A recent change in the Wellness Policy at Guilderland High School has brought up concerns by many of the school’s Jewish students, as new regulations have banned the sale of Bruegger’s Bagels during the school day. The bagel sales, which typically took place in the East and West lobbies between first and second block, had been praised for not only for providing the dirty thrill of an impulse purchase, but also were cited by many students as a contributing factor as to why they have yet to drop out.  Most importantly, however, they allowed for a cultural experience: getting to look into the world of the American Jew. “Jews are such an under-represented minority at Guilderland, and bagels are one of the few things that I can actually relate to,” stated Emily Honen, Jew. “It feels like an attack at my heritage.” And she’s not alone – many members Guilderland’s Jewish population also feel their culture is being repressed. “It starts with slabs of dough, and it ends with Stars of David,” said Honen, who identifies herself as, in fact, Jewish. “I’m just worried about where the line is.” What we do know is that it will not be behind a table of warm, fresh, bagels.


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