In Hiding, or Probably Not

KATIE LAMAR

I’ve been under the covers of my bed for the past sixteen years and I burned all the journals I wrote freshmen year, so I’m in a place where love cannot find me.
I slam the refrigerator door and I forget to walk my dogs a lot, so I’m in a place where love cannot find me.
I piss off my dad at any chance I can get and I judge the pop songs on the radio for being too optimistic, so I’m in a place where love cannot find me.
All I do is cry until all my tears are dry and I write horribly mangled love poems to the boy who is never coming and I don’t eat my vegetables, so I’m in a place where love cannot find me.
I’m too tall or too mean or something like that I’m too blonde or not enough so I’m in a place where love cannot find me.
Hi my name is Katie Lamar so I’m in a place where love cannot find me.
I’m imperfectly impatient and I hate myself for it
This is a mangled mass of body held up by stilts yet somehow I’m still not tall enough to see past these metaphors!

I have hands too eager, too reaching-my eyes are too bright, too wide
My father advised me to stop wearing flannel on floral, as if finding a boy has anything to do with the fit of my fashion

As if my fancy will fix my failures

As if a new fad will draw a fixation, but I told my dad it’s all about my hibernation
I’m too good at hiding out in the open; I’m so in your face it’s like I’m not even here

You’ve looked right past me as if someone has disguised me and I’m in a place where love cannot find me

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Poem: My Mistakes

TRENT DELSIGNORE

I stepped out of the car and turn to leave you
And just like every time before, I begin to forget all that I’ve ever known but you
I mistook the winter air for your hands cold and running over my body and your touch essentially for me to live
I looked up and mistook the night sky for your hair they way it covers over me
Mistook the shining stars for that twinkle that somehow you always have in your eye
I woke up and mistook the sunshine for your smile

Poem: The Music Never Stopped

JENNA MORRISEY

The scary music never stopped.
It was always there, full volume,
telling me things I didn’t want to hear.
It would play so loud
I couldn’t sing my own song;
I couldn’t fall asleep at night
because the sound was always there.
When I met you the scary music didn’t stop,
it just added your name to the lyrics of the song
that scared me the most:
“everything you’re afraid to lose.”
Since the music started I had been looking for headphones,
something that will mute it.
When you put your arms around me,
the music stopped.
The music still plays in the background throughout the day,
but I turn down the volume
with the thought of your voice.